The World according to Rich


Who am I and Why should you listen to what I have to say?

Who am I?

Why should you listen to me?

My name is Rich Asplund. I’m an amateur writer/media critic, professional smartass, and all around weirdo. (But it’s okay for me to be weird because I know I’m weird. Thank you Mr. Bowman!)

If you are seeing this because you were reading my blog at then you should be listening to me because my insights or lack thereof in my attempts to be less of a wannabe and more of a have done might be valuable or at the least entertaining in the way of “Sheesh I’m glad I’m not that poor bastard!”

If you are seeing this because you were pointed to then you should be listening to me because I try to find awesome creators that aren’t getting the signal boost I feel they deserve and try to up it a little in my own way. I’ll also feature worthy causes that are near and dear to me, my family, and friends, as well as any others that pass my way and I can’t find a reason to oppose them. I’m also open to being introduced to new creators and featuring them.

If you are seeing this because you found my remaking of a man blog at, then you should be listening to me because you might be doing the same thing as me and realizing you are not who or what YOU want yourself to be (to hell with what others want you to be) and my musings successes and setbacks might help illuminate the questions and answers in your own journey to be the man/woman/other that you yourself want to be.

I’m not an expert on anything, I am not a guru I’m just a guy trying to navigate this wierdass world.

Getting back in the saddle again.

Back in the saddle trying to work on writing.

I plan on trying small. A hundred words here a few hundred there, and some little exercises to generate stuff to work on in the future.

Daily I plan to do a few small exercises to load up my toolbox for future projects.

So each day I want to come up with 3 First Names, 3 Surnames, and 3 Handles / Nicknames / Aliases. I also want to come up with 2 archetypes, 3 conflicts, 3 settings and 3 “what ifs”.

I also plan on when I have a long fiction product adding 350 words five days a week, and when I have short fiction projects adding 100 words 5 days a week.

I also plan on trying to be more active in blogging, so that I can keep words flowing, I plan on trying to do at least 3 posts a week. One on the state of my attempt to get back into writing, one dealing with causes, and the third could be either of the previous or something entirely random.

Need to fix my “Give A F***.”

Past couple years have not been conducive to writing. This last 18 months especially. Need to kick myself in the ass and actually write though, need to get back into the saddle and just do it even the days I don’t want to. Especially the days I don’t want to. That goes for doing my job,taking care of my home and vehicles, eating better, and exercising too. I’ve let a lot of things slip through the cracks because my give a fuck was busted.

Well it’s time to fix it.

For too long I let things that have gone wrong in my life and certain losses lie to me and tell me it’s okay to shut down and not do anything not care. To those that I’ve made promises that have kinda slipped by I’m sorry. I wallowed, and just as I was ready to get out of the wallow something else would come by and give me an excuse to sink back in and wallow more. I’m a grown man with responsibilities I need to tend to them, I need to tend to the obligations I’ve made.

If I’ve made a promise or a commitment and have not followed through and there is still time for me to do so let me know sorting out the mess I’ve allowed myself to make of everything will take time and left to trying to find it I may take a bit considering how horribly unorganized I’ve been for the past couple years.

Stage One Take 2 – Accountability Day One

Accountability – Actually writing – right now I’m just trying to get in the writing habit again and posting scraps here for accountability.

Did this in about 23 Minutes and change on 519 words

Ember couldn’t believe her ears she listened tot he message again.  “Ember your mother is in the oven.  Please do not attempt to open it.  I am sorry it is too late.”  The recording repeated itself yet again “Ember you mother is…”  Ember let the phone fall from her hand and ran.  The facility they would have taken her mother to was not far away she might be able to make it in time.  She bolted past the armed guard on duty at the building’s entrance.  She placed her hand on the scanner port at the far end of the lobby.  She waited breathlessly as the light changed from an angry red to a sickening green.
A klaxon sounded and a mechanical voice droned from the speakers.  “Please hold burn scheduled for unit seventy-six.  Please hold burn scheduled for unit seventy-six.  Next of kin has arrived for unit seventy-six.  Please hold burn scheduled for unit seventy-six.”
A young clerk came over to Ember.  “Kin for Mrs. Amelia Young?” she asked cheerfully.
Ember stared at the young woman standing in front of her not able to believe her ears.  “You are about to cremate my mother alive?  How the fuck can you be so peppy and cheerful?”
The clerk ignored the question.  “You are here for Amelia correct?” the clerk’s smile never faltered and she did not miss a beat.
Ember glared at the little bitch.  “Yes I am here for Amelia.  She’s my mother.  why are you doing this?  I checked on her this morning she was fine.  She is still fine.”
The clerk frowned and stepped away from Ember.  “You say you had contact with Mrs. Young today?”
Ember snapped at the clerk.  “Yeah I had a video chat with her before I went to work she was fine.  Tired but fine.”
“No physical contact though right?”  the clerk was nervously fidgeting with her badge.
“I have not been over to ma’s house for a month.  With work the way it is lately I just can’t get the time.  But I do a video chat with her three times a day.  She was fine this morning.”
“No she wasn’t.”  The clerk seemed apologetic now.  She also stopped playing with her badge.  “Your mother was infected.  We have to do a burn.  We can give you twenty minutes grace in the visitor cubicle but that’s all.”
“Looks like an infected wasp may have gotten in her apartment.  Looks like the infection started at the base of her neck.  She wasn’t tired. She’s undead.  Or more correctly she will be by morning.”
Ember fell to her knees.  Her mother was infected.  The burn had to be enforced.  The clerk took Ember to the visitation cubicle for burn unit seventy-six.  Her mother sat calmly on the other side of the glass.
“Ma who called on you?”
Amelia Young looked her only surviving daughter in the eye and wept.  “I did dear.”

It has Begun.

Okay been a while no excuses – I’ve just been busy and got distracted -500 Writer points for me. (as in negative/ minus points)

My new attempt at a novel has begun – Not very far into it haven’t even completed a scene finally found a starter opening.  Whether it remains as the opener or ends up changing later on time will tell.

Still working on hammering out my short story challenges to myself.  Still hammering out time to read as well as write.  but Accountability needs to start sometime.  And I’ve procrastinated long enough letting everything else come before my writing.  Well that keeps me in the wannabe column not the writer column I need to stop wanting to be and start doing.

First words for the Novel Attempt have been placed down in word… when budget nazi allows me I’ll upgrade to scrivener for windows – though in the interim I may jump over to space jock’s ywriter.

I may start going to the library after work for an hour or so a couple times a week so I can avoid the guilt trips I get for not playing with my youngest who barely gets to see me because of a 8.5 hour workday and a roughly 2.5 to 3 hour commute (each way leave about 5 am get home about 6:30 pm)

Back to accountability – Going to try to get back on the ball

Goals – Long Form >= 1667 words >= 5x / Week; Short Form 3 Shorts / week; Idea Bank 5 Ideas / day >= 4x/week; Short Story Challenge 1x week.

Goals means that’s where I want to end up at during this stage not where I’m starting at. Now for the mean time I think I’m going to attempt to start Short Story Challenge 1x Week, and >= 500 words 3x/week then build from there to meet my goals.

Which brings me back to my short story challenge and the details.  Still trying to figure out exactly how I want to handle that.  So in the meantime I’ll just attempt to get one posted each week until I can figure out a way to put the challenge more in the hands of others than me challenging myself.

Catching Up

New gig is requiring a new set of skills a couple new programs and a whole different level of understanding policies…


Basically I’ve been spending free time that is devoted to family to figuring out the rest of the stuff I need to do the gig right…  I’m likely to still be hip deep at least for April, Will try to have another submission ready for Every Photo Tells since they did give me a sneak peak at the next photo…  My short story challenge is on hold until I can tame the professional overlap into my personal time but every new gig requires sacrifice.

Short Story Challenge

Greetings and hallucinations, I still haven’t finalized how I want to go about my weekly short story challenge but I think I might make it mutable.

I think I’m going to post voting options and tally them by end of week for the next weeks Challenge.

I suddenly have the feeling I’m embarking on Whose Line… the Short Story Challenge.

If I get no votes / nudging / harassment I’ll put out something standard like 1K to 5K Story my choice of whatever.  If I get a minimum of 5 voters in any one category then majority wins in that category and I’ll attempt to apply it to that weeks story.

The Weeks story will be a rough not finished story meaning it will need edits

It will be minimum 1000 Words (unless voted differently)

It will be due on Sunday Evening 8 PM Central Time US (unless voted differently Sprint challenge)

I reserve the right to veto anything too extreme.  (Erotica is auto vetoed until further notice sorry I don’t write the sexy bits)

I’m still finalizing a few things as far as the challenges go but I’m going to start putting out some material just to get it out and practice writing while I finalize how I want to do the challenge.

I’m willing to take suggestions as to other guidelines to apply to these challenges.  If you want to play along with the home version of the game feel free to do so and post it and send me a link so I can guide people your way.

This is an accountability exercise to me.  I beg of you gentle or in some cases not so gentle reader please help nudge me along keep me accountable and help me build up to the point I can stop calling myself a wannabe writer and call myself a writer.  Too long have I sat here and mumbled about wanting to share my stories and keep backing down.  Maybe I’m a hack and a crap writer that should not be allowed to touch pen to paper for the safety of mankind, I don’t think so but then again in HS I thought I was casanova though I didn’t have a date until I was 18 so I have been wrong before.  I’m tired of being a wannabe and the only way to stop being one is to actually do.  This is me attempting to do.


For those that participate in getting my ass to write thank you, for those that choose not to I still say thank you for your time in reading this.


Still here Still dealing with Interviewing mayhem and kids.

Well Kid drama bit into thinking about writing this weekend, and anticipation waiting for more news / and my 2nd interview (this time with HR) ate into my actual writing time.


Still in the running or hopefully they wouldn’t waste my time and HRs setting up an interview with HR.  Means my nerves are shot waiting…  I don’t wait well.. I hated buymecrapmas and birthdays as a kid because I couldn’t wait to know what was in the pretty wrapped boxes.

I’m still scribbling ideas here and there just can’t stay focused on my actual writing.


Kids are having drama so therefore Mom and Dad have drama…  I love my kids but isn’t there a treatment for teenage drama.. like a fleadip but for drama… no one could hope where the hell is Ron Popeil when I need him?

Still trying to figure out what the limits need to be for my short story challenges.

Slight Delay in accountability

Work stuff – Trainer Position opened up internally, and as a non employee contractor I’d really like to get in with the firm so I’ve been studying my ass off prepping for the interview which is today at 3:30 PM CDT –

Regular updates and return to writing should ensue tomorrow – but if I get the gig will likely be put on hold until I get up to speed with the day gig.

Ass In Chair – Accountability and Weekly Challenge.

Greeting and hallucinations it’s been too damned long and it’s time to get off my ass and start posting again and working on my accountability.


Here’s my Current Goals


Long Form – 1667 Words a day 5x a week

Short Form 3 Shorts a week

Idea Bank 5/day 4x per week


I’ve Gotten a couple more Ideas over to the fine folx at Every Photo Tells One has been recorded and lets hope the other is up to muster and I’ll try to get a few more done before their Hiatus ends.  Which brings me to my next project.  In order to keep my ass motivated I need harassment and challenge that’s where I call on you.  If you’re interested in helping me please comment below.


I’m going to start doing a weekly Short Story Challenge.  Get a prompt and see what I can dash out.  I need to sit down and figure out what would be a fair challenge.  Word count, rating, etc.

I need Cheerers and I need Jeerers to prod my ass into getting shit done.  I don’t expect you to blow sunshine up my ass but I don’t need you to hand me my ass wrapped in a pretty pink bow with the word candy scrawled across it in pink frosting.


No excuses about the past it’s past.  I need to keep my head in the present and look to the future, and keep the past in mind to make sure I don’t fall in the same traps.  If you wish to help keep me accountable let me know here and harass me on twitter RAsplundJr!/Rasplundjr

Some out there have my email address and they can harass me there too.

I’ll try to post at the very least twice a week once with my progress about sticking to my goals (and face it it’s going to take time to get up to speed) and once to post up my weekly challenge.

For those that will help keep me on task and participate in this endeavor I say thank you in advance.  To those that choose not to hey no hard feelings, thanks for taking the time to read the post and if you read further updates hope you enjoy.